Cobi’s story began on July 16, 2002, when he was born after 34 hours of intense labor. The moment they laid Cobi on my chest I took one look at his beautiful face with those big, blue eyes and in an instant knew that I would die for this baby. It was truly love at first sight. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. My voice and the words I said to him were the first he thing he heard. All I could say was simply, “Hi Baby, hi.” He was adored the second he was born into this world and would be by all who knew him. He was a beautiful child who loved watching Veggie Tales and Baby Einstein videos and reading books. HIs favorite book was “Where The Wild Things Are.” He learned to read at the age of 3 and was incredibly smart his entire life. His life was beautiful and he had so much to live for. . .
I was also the last person in our family to have a conversation with Cobi. We were making nachos together in the kitchen, laughing together and having a good time. After he finished making his food, he walked away and the last words he said to me were “‘Night, I love you.” I responded with “I love you, too, good night.” That was the last time I spoke to Cobi. The next morning, on May 19, 2021, I would wake up to find out that he had passed at the age of 18, just 10 days before he was to graduate from high school. There is no pain like that of losing a child, no matter how old they are. I loved him SO much, and I think about him every single day. I miss my “Cobibug.” That is what I so affectionately called him. We buried him a week later, and the church was so full of people at his funeral that it was standing room only. He was that loved by everyone who knew him in his school and community.
In addition to losing my son when he was 18, I also suffered a miscarriage in my early 20s after Cobi was born. Those are the two strongest factors in my decision to become a bereavement doula. I understand the pain of losing a child, and I want to help you and your family through your time of love and loss. I can be there for you and support you in every way possible. From care in the hospital to helping with funeral arrangements if needed to making sure I’m still by your side in the days that come after when you need love and compassion the most…I would love to help you through your journey and help you see that there is still life and love to be had on the other side of loss.
If you’re facing the loss of an infant in your life and would like a bereavement doula by your side, please call me, text me or email me. The price of love is grief, whether your loss is an infant or even an 18 year-old boy. You’ll never move on from this loss, but you can move forward through grief and learn to thrive in the midst of it.
From mother to mother, I know the feeling of the loss of a child. My Cobibug was beautiful and I want everyone to know his story. To know that before he died, he really lived. Just like your baby lived too, maybe not outside the womb, but he/she lived inside your body and you took care of and protected them the best way you knew how. I just want you to know that loss is not your fault. It’s hard to understand that sometimes, and even now I still feel like, “What could I have done…” But the answer is, nothing. I loved my Cobibug so much, and I truly believe he’s out where the Wild Things are.
